The Twelve Days of Cheesemas

There are many things to celebrate at Christmas. While the evenings may be dark; the world convulsed with relentless geopolitical upheaval; lockdowns and restrictions keeping friends and family apart, there is at least a lone star hanging above the horizon: it is the Twelve Days of Cheesemas.

Here at Grate My Cheese, we enjoy eating cheese, rating cheese, and writing about cheese. What better start to the festive season could there be than to combine all these things into 12 consecutive days of cheese?

Each day we will propose a new cheese to bring to your Christmas cheeseboard. Some will be classics, some will be novel; some delicious and some frankly dubious. Each day of Cheesemas at 8pm, you can find out what new challenger approaches to claim a spot on your Christmas cheese platter.

Day 1: Ossau-Iraty (Marks and Spencer)

Joe: When we started preparing the more in-depth and regularly scheduled cheese reviews for the website, prior to my first shopping trip, I took the opportunity to look back at my cheese scores over the years and try and identify cheeses which I rated highly, but do not eat on a regular basis. My first observation is that I have not historically paid enough attention to sheep’s cheese…

Day 2: Goat’s Milk Gouda (Marks and Spencer)

Phil and Pez: Legacy Gouda is a Dutch cow’s milk cheese, and most standard supermarket Gouda is crushingly bland and uninspiring. In many cases eating it is a dismaying waste of valuable seconds of life; avoid Gouda sold pre-sliced in transparent plastic packets at all costs. Good-quality Gouda is actually quite flavoursome and tasty, but not always easy to find. Never settle for a cheap and flavourless Gouda; going the extra mile will pay dividends. This cheese has a striking twist…

Day 3: Coastal Bite Ingot Truckle (Tesco Finest)

Phil: I cannot deny I bought this simple because it was termed “a cheese ingot”. I am never one to turn down cheese marketed in the same terms as gold bullion; once again, I was not disappointed…

Day 4: Double Gloucester with Onion & Chives (Lidl Valley Spire)

Louis: Flavoured cheeses are divisive. We have found this to be true over years of cheese nights. Some, like Chilli-flavoured cheeses have caused arguments over the years and remain the only cheeses to score both 0 and 10 in the same night. Others are less offensive but still seem to be “each to their own”. It is with that in mind that I tread delicately in to this review…

Day 5: Gruyère (Tesco Finest Swiss Reserve)

Phil: A raucous and rambunctious hard cheese, this is a tasty delight given sufficient pre-consumption warming to develop its full taste. Gruyère shines as a winsome, nutty contrast to the heavier flavours and hard, flaky texture of many British mature cheeses…

Day 6: Camembert (Lidl Classic)

Louis: If you ask someone to name a soft French cheese, their mind may well jump to the two cornerstones of Brie and Camembert. Given its widespread appeal, its likely to be a candidate for any cheeseboard for the pending Christmas festivities. There are also a huge range of varieties available from delis and supermarkets alike. Whilst a trip to your local cheese shop is a very rewarding experience (which we highly recommend), sometimes you find yourself in the cheese aisle of a supermarket looking to bulk out your cheese board. With that in mind, we take a look at the entry-level offering from Lidl…

Day 7: Gouda With Beetroot And Basil (Villa Rosso)

Pez + Phil: This cheese is a rich, festive red, pockmarked with small seeds which definitely are not basil.  It has a slightly soft and floppy texture and a thick, inedible rind. This cheese’s vibrant hue would bring Christmas cheer to any cheeseboard. Sadly…

Day 8: Compte (Marks and Spencer)

Joe: There are many strong traditions when it comes to French cheesemaking, and very few French cheeses are held in higher regard than Comte. As the second type of cheese to receive AOC designation and protection, there are a strict set of processes that must be completed for a cheese to call itself Comte.

Day 9: Christmas Pudding Cheese (Croome Cheese)

Phil + Pez: This cheese is a novelty wax-wrapped Christmas-pudding-flavoured cheese. The substrate cheese is not clearly stated (an ominous sign) but relatively Cheddar-like; the cheese is infused with brandy, dried fruit, and mixed spices…

Day 10: Christmas Cake Flavour Yorkshire Wensleydale (Asda)

Phil: No reasonable adult of sound mind could deny this is a Christmas cheese. I reviewed this cheese at the request of a reader; despite my previously-documented intense dislike of both fruitcakes and dubious novelty cheeses marketed squarely at the festive season rather than serious cheese appreciators, for the benefit of our loyal readers I gritted my teeth and took on a Christmas cake variant of this classic seasonal product…

Day 11: Morbier (Lidl “Deluxe”)

Louis: I like to think I am a fair person. I like to give things a chance and often will give a poor showing the benefit of the doubt. Such was the case with my first experience of Morbier. It arrived at our cheese night on the recommendation of one of our number. However, the cheese that lay before us was certainly not in the correct state to be served with a thin fur developing on the rind. Whatever happened to this poor cheese was not a fair reflection and I endeavoured to give it a fair trial with a fresh batch. So here we are!

Cheddar (Black Bomber – Snowdonia Cheese Company Extra Mature)

Joe: Other writers (Phil and Louis) are self-professed cheddar fanatics and cannot be trusted to give an objective ranking to an extra-mature cheddar or any cheese with ‘Bomber’ in the name. As more of a cheese all-rounder, I have made sure to purchase this group favourite and write my review first, before the others churn out their strength 7 propaganda…