The last review of a Tesco halloumi determined that, while the Tesco specimen wasn’t actually all that good, halloumi’s baseline deliciousness is so high that it can’t fail to impress. To put this to the test, we put the Tesco reference halloumi head-to-head against this much cheaper Corner Deli instance, also available from Tesco. We extended the arena of combat to inclusion in a real meal: a tomato and spinach couscous salad, in which halloumi functions like chicken, but actually enjoyable to eat. Does the extra 24p/100g make all the difference when it comes to flavour, or are we just dazzled by the catwalk lights and ritzy lifestyle allure of Tesco standard branding? Is there any floor to the halloumi retail market below which it’s not worth buying?

Put simply, this cheese is pretty much the same as the Tesco one but a lot cheaper. I ate pieces of each red-hot and sizzling out of the pan, experiencing the typical total loss of fine motor control and complete sensory overload that is the hallmark of an enjoyable halloumi experience. I could perhaps tell a tiny difference: the Corner Deli one is a tiny bit less bouncy, chewy and meat-like in texture than the Tesco one. That’s a small shame – but it’s a tiny worm of disappointment in an otherwise delicious trifle of squeaky tastiness. Flavour-wise, they’re pretty much the same.

Corner Deli Co. vs Tesco in a controlled experiment.

For any real use case there’s no reason to fall for the Tesco own-line branding. In the meal, these were totally indistinguishable as confirmed by an impartial observer. Both were vastly better than… most other things you can eat, really; intensely salty and satisfyingly meaty.

The key to summiting the pinnacles of halloumi enjoyment is to eat it hot and eat it fast. I cooked this on a high heat in a  pan with some olive oil for 4-5 minutes, turning quite regularly. Do not let it burn; as soon as it’s started to turn a satisfying grilled brown, decant it immediately into your body. If you leave it to cool even a small amount it will dismay with a crunchy, rubbery texture; few experiences are more disappointing to the mouth.

Neither of these halloumi are top-of-the-range; both mix in some cow’s milk into what’s supposed to be a cow-free cheese. Obviously both are truly horrible to eat uncooked, but no-one is doing that. It’d be interesting to compare this to a high-end specimen of the breed (retailing at over twice the price); I suspect that, cooked, no-one is telling the difference.

As it’s a tiny bit less good than the Tesco one in terms of texture, but a lot more appealing in terms of price, I also rate this cheese 8.0/10.

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