Group 1 – Brie

This is the first group stage for the Tesco Soft Bovine Board. Five Brie competed head-to-head for the one place up for grabs on the final board.

Brie is a mild, soft-ripened cheese originating in France, with a soft, spreadable texture. Its taste is typically buttery, smooth and fairly mild; some stronger Bries can have a slightly farmy hint, but this is normally a fairly inoffensive cheese with widespread popularity.

The assessment process for these Brie was rather exhaustingly rigorous. We ate all 5 unaccompanied in quick succession (my partner doing this blind with no knowledge of the contenders). We tried every cheese with each of Fro sea salt crackers,  Stockan’s rather excellent wholemeal oatcakes, and Tesco’s own salt and pepper crackers, as well as apples and grapes. We waited 24 hours and – gritting our teeth somewhat – did this all again, this time including a crusty baguette and some intriguing Holly’s Tomato and Herb crackers. In the intervening time we conducted multiple “snack tests”: if I walk to the kitchen and just want some Brie on an oatcake, which one do I instinctively reach for? We ate Brie on pancakes; we ate it as an evening snack; we just lifted the wedge up and rended chunks off with our teeth.

Now, I don’t actually like Brie all that much – it’s my belief most other soft cheeses are more interesting, and I intend to put that hypothesis to the test in the white-hot crucible of the Tesco Soft Bovine Board – so this process was pretty arduous. It was fascinating to observe the subtle differences between the five fairly similar cheeses. My partner and I had very similar views across all the cheeses, and would give pretty much the same recommendations.

Cornish Brie (Tesco)

The West Country makes fantastic cheeses, and even excellent Brie, but this is not one of them. This cheese has an alluring smell but a weak and feeble taste. Its greatest sin, though, is the post-apocalyptic dryness of its texture. It just shouldn’t be possible for a Brie – the damp, oozing queen of soft spreading cheeses – to be this parched and arid. There isn’t any reason to buy this over the much better, much cheaper Creamfields equivalent.

Extra Creamy Brie (Castello)

A round, appealing disc, this cheese looks the part but disappoints on both flavour and texture fronts. Flavour-wise, this is creamy but has a tiny bit of taste; the level of flavour is a bit of a let-down given the strong smell. The texture, though, is rubbery and bouncy, rather than luxurious and spreadable. This is disappointing given the “extra creamy” branding. A cracker mitigates most texture issues; this is less horrifying than the Tesco Cornish Brie but still not a good buy.

French Brie (Tesco Creamfields)

A bargain-basement supermarket-own-brand entry which was vastly superior to its more upmarket cousin. Creamfields is Tesco’s line of budget dairy products and the price of this is almost frighteningly cheap, but this is actually a pretty decent mild Brie.

Texture-wise this is creamy and smooth. It’s not delectably oozing, but neither is it dusty, arid and barren like its Cornish compatriot. Flavour-wise, there’s not much going on. It’s a little buttery and dull for me, but on a cracker or a baguette this is pretty OK. If you were looking for a mild, fairly bland and inoffensive soft cheese, I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend this one. We ate this on a pancake with bacon and cranberry sauce; of course the Brie’s flavour was crushed flat between the porcine hammer and the fruity anvil, but at £3.95/kg we’re not going to complain.

Le Brie (Président)

President claims to be The Number One Brie in France and the UK, and it’s easy to see why. This was head and shoulders above most other Brie here. Its texture is great, with a soft, creamy interior but a firm, unyielding rind. The flavour is also a substantial step up. It’s still reasonably mild and creamy by serious cheese standards, but there is some taste to be had here, and the subtlest hint of the farmyard.

Although I don’t think this is the tastiest cheese here, it is the Brie I would most recommend for easy grazing. It dominated the snack test thanks to its more coherent rind and less oozing nature – it’s just too convenient and easy to chop off a slice and guzzle it down. The Brie de Meaux is substantially more flavoursome, but also a bit more hassle to eat.

Brie de Meaux (Tesco Finest)

Brie de Meaux is a designated-origin version of Brie made from unpasteurised milk (most other Brie here use pasteurised milk). This cheese was, by a large margin, the most serious-looking (and serious-smelling) of all the contenders here, its rind more variegated, its core more oozing. It comes packaged in a little wooden tray, extraction from which is a somewhat arduous and messy task. This is nominally a strength 4 cheese, but there’s no need to be frightened.

Texture-wise this is great, if inconvenient to manipulate. While the other contenders all retain their form when slices are cut, this certainly does not, instead dissipating into a pleasing lipid mound. There’s no doubt it’s tastier than all the alternatives, but it’s up to you if this is what you’re looking for in a Brie. If you want something relatively mild and easy-eating, the President may be a better choice; if you’re looking for maximum flavour, and happy to tolerate a distinct whiff of farminess, this is the Brie for you.

Accompaniments

As a mild cheese, Brie pairs best with mild accompaniments, and is easily overwhelmed by stronger flavours. We found oatcakes were a great match, and the Stockan’s were satisfyingly robust and crunchy. A crusty baguette was also good. The Tesco Salt and Pepper Crackers, while reasonably tasty themselves, were a bit overwhelming for the mild cheeses here. The Holly’s Tomato and Herb Crackers were a bizarre but intriguing combination: the flavour is far too strong for the Brie, but it does allow the construction of a convenient and portable pizza-like snack. Apple was a good palette cleanser, and I was rather taken by some pomegranate green tea which effectively refreshed me between the many rounds of Brie consumption. Grapes had an unpleasantly tanniny flavour, especially with the Brie de Meaux.

Verdict

For a budget Brie which performs just fine on crackers or bread at a rock-bottom price point, the Creamfields is perfectly decent. The Président is a big step up and is the easiest to snack on. The Tesco Finest Brie de Meaux has the strongest, most complex taste and best texture overall, so we’ll take that forward to the final board.