Leaving behind the stifling uniformity of five types of Brie, and the punishing farminess of three washed-rind cheeses, we turn at last to the most varied (and in my view most enjoyable) group stage of the Tesco Soft Bovine Board: four types of mould-ripened cheese.

Now, we all know that Neufchatel is technically a semi-soft cheese so its inclusion on this board is a bit of a stretch. In fact it’s a bit questionable that “mould-ripened” is a cheese genre at all (“soft-ripened” is probably a better term). But following the clearly codified rules of the Tesco Soft Bovine Board, if Tesco describes a cheese as “soft” and it doesn’t fall under a carve-out clause, I have to buy it, eat and, and contemplate its place in the world order.

Four cheeses were competing in this group stage. The stakes were high, as two slots were up for grabs in the final thanks to the greater diversity of cheeses here. Unlike previous rounds, competition was exceptionally fierce: there were no “bin cheeses” here and at least three had a serious crack at the available slots. We tried the cheeses in three dedicated rating sessions, with varying warmup times ranging from 0.75 to 4 hours. The drive for cracker novelty led us to some fairly dark places biscuit-wide in the first session; subsequent sessions stabilised the listing ship of cheese accompaniments with some of the great Holly’s Wheat Crackers and some Tesco Finest Stone Backed Boule bread.

Petit Tradition (Tesco)

A niche cheese seemingly specific to Tesco’s shelves. One plausible theory pushed here is that this is actually relabelled Roucoulons Tradition, an intriguing hypothesis consistent with the known facts. This is a soft cheese with a whitish-orange rind and a rather rubbery texture. The smell is quite distinctive and curious, but doesn’t match the taste at all, which is very mild. Overall this is quite a Brie-like experience. The bouncy texture is quite fun to engage with when eaten alone and the flavour is reasonable, if mild. On a cracker or bread this is quite bland and dull. This is unassuming and worth trying just for the rarity, but I can’t see any real reason to make it a regular part of my cheese rotation. In the company of the other, formidably delicious, cheese whales in this group stage this is a mere flitting guppy.

Neufchatel (Tesco)

A huge step up from the previous cheese, this cheese’s appeal is massively enhanced by its heart-shaped form. Nothing says romance like 200g of semi-soft dairy produce; and it’s unfortunate that Valentine’s Day passed without me being aware of this excellent cheese.

This has a firm white rind, hiding a velvety smooth inside which shades to a chalky-white core. Flavour-wise this is medium for a soft cheese, sitting probably around the taste intensity of the Brie De Meaux. The texture is pretty satisfying, and for standalone consumption alone this just might be the most enjoyable cheese on this board. It duelled ferociously with the Chaorce for the top spot and the 2 cheeses are very similar; we think that accompanied, the Chaorce’s slightly stronger flavour and greater textural variety beat out the Neufchatel. We repeatedly tried them juxtaposed on the same cracker or bread to directly compare, and rather struggled with a final decision.

Saint Félicien (Tesco Finest)

This delicious cheese is competing in a different arena to the other cheeses on this board. While they are all fairly firm and tasty, Saint Félicien is nothing but unctuous soft creaminess.

We’ve reviewed this cheese before, and enjoyed it then too. The creamy texture is amazing for spreading, and the flavour is mild but decadently creamy. The packaging is unusually considerate for a soft spreadable cheese: this comes in a convenient openable plastic case which makes it easy to transport and snack on without the messy paper unwrapping of many of the other soft cheeses we’ve reviewed.

Chaource (Tesco Finest)

I am a huge Chaource fan, and this was no exception. This is a satisfyingly hefty tower of dairy deliciousness whose cross-section really looks the business, with its chiaroscuro of smooth and oozing outer layer wrapping a soft and crumbly center, all held captive by the white rind. We’ve reviewed Chaource from Tesco before and approved. There’s a really great range of textures, and much satisfaction from eating such a primeval-looking cheese – no uniform, processed Mild Cheddar Cheese Product this, but a complex and varied cheese. The flavour is broadly a balance between creamy and earthy, approximately comparable to the Neufchatel but a little more flavourful. This specimen had a more acidic, citrusy flavour, which I’m not sure I appreciated – Chaources are usually a bit less sharp than this.

Alone, this is really tasty, but I’m not certain the slightly less lemony Neufchatel doesn’t beat it out. Texture-wise the transition from creaminess to crumbliness is great, and on crackers or bread this is substantially superior to the Neufchatel.

Accompaniments

In the quest to keep the cracker choice interesting we made several pretty dubious decisions in the first round. We tried Holly’s West Country Cheddar Crackers, which were relatively tasty but far too strong for pairing with the cheeses here. A far, far worse choice were the Tesco Garlic Crackers. These are pretty enjoyable as a standalone snack cracker, and might pair OK with a very strong Cheddar. They don’t appear to taste all that garlicky… until you pair them with a soft, mild cheese, whose flavour they remorselessly brutalize under their alliaceous heel. We moved to Nairn’s Fine Oatcakes, which are in my opinion fairly poor compared to the Stockan’s version; in flavour and texture they are comparable to simply sweeping the floor of a sawmill then baking the results into a biscuit. These are much closer to cheese crackers (while the Stockan’s oatcakes are rather thick and tasty), but cheese crackers typically have salt, or herbs, or something else which makes them enjoyable to eat. We salvaged the situation with Holly’s trusty Wheat Crackers; these cheeses also all paired well with bread.

Verdict

Petit Tradition is pretty insipid compared to any of the other three cheeses here, which are all great. Chaource takes the top spot thanks to its diverse textures and enjoyable flavours, even though I suspect this isn’t the best Chaource I’ve had. It was definitely the cheese we both enjoyed eating the most in this crowded field. Neufchatel performs a similar role to Chaource, but does it just a bit less well, though it deserves an honourable mention for solo consumption and its romantic appeal. We’re instead going to take Saint Félicien through to the final round, as a deliciously creamy candidate trying for something different.

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