Gouda with red pesto, fenugreek and Italian herbs (Villa Rosso)

This cheese is a conventional (“legacy“) cow’s milk Gouda, bafflingly infused with red pesto, fenugreek, and perhaps other herbs.

Phil and Pez bought this cheese purely on the basis of its rosy festive air – an impulsive decision given its £32/kg price tag – while perusing Cambridge market in the search of maximally Christmassy cheeses. We were promised a “Dutch Gouda with beetroot and basil” but that doesn’t appear to describe this cheese too accurately. Pesto does at least contain basil, but that omits the fenugreek (a critical part of the non-standard flavour profile) and I don’t know about any beetroot. No harm done – we rate the cheese we see in front of us and are happy to give a fair hearing to any dairy products that cross our path.

We ate this cheese perched around a pillar in front of Great Saint Mary’s Church in central Cambridge. Winter sunlight slanted through a cloud-dappled sky as the temperature struggled to crest 5 C. We were serenaded by a busking harpist playing carols in front of the church – presumably in celebration of the Twelve Days of Cheesemas.

Phil: this cheese is a rich, festive red, pockmarked with small seeds which definitely are not basil.  It has a slightly soft and floppy texture and a thick, inedible rind. This cheese’s vibrant hue would bring Christmas cheer to any cheeseboard.

Sadly any seasonal joy will be lost as soon as this cheese engages with the mouth, thanks to the disturbing flavour. Multiple strong flavour profiles battle rather incoherently for dominance.

First, the red pesto hits. Would you spoon red pesto directly from the jar into your mouth, licking your lips greedily as it slides slickly down your gullet? I suspect not. Red pesto is cloying and rich; that is not ameliorated by its pairing here with a cloying, rich Gouda. Then, there are strong hits of garlic (presumably also from the pesto). I am not against garlic in cheese; having it in a sweet Gouda is a novel but questionable choice. Finally, there is a taste I assume is fenugreek. Fenugreek is an Indian spice; in this cheese it imparts a flavour a little like coriander. I would not choose to eat coriander with pesto.

The underlying cheese here is a Gouda, whose sweetness does not combine well with most of the other available flavours; the slightly soft texture only adds to the sickly experience. The resulting cheese is pleasing on the eye but a little unpleasant on the tongue.

I combined this cheese with a 2019 Cotes du Rhone Villages full-bodied red wine, and that improved it substantially. I suspect that is because the wine’s deeper flavour overwhelmed the cheese. However, I would rather just drink the wine and skip the cheese. A seeded cracker might combine well with this cheese and help to leaven its sickly nature. I have eaten (many) more actively repugnant cheeses; that said, I would not choose to eat this again.

As previously established Cowda is the past. Cow’s milk Gouda belongs to a world of milk in glass bottles, summer holidays in Skegness, and expansionary fiscal policy actually driving inflation. Based on our experience here, Gouda’s future belongs to the goat.

Pez: Imagine like us you have dreamed of finding fame and fortune while pursuing your love of cheese. Considering the competition of cheese reviewing websites to be too fierce, you decide to branch out to a popular social media image application. Villa Rosso must have had you in mind when they created this attractive “Instacheese”, which is guaranteed to arouse the salivary glands of young adults the world over.

Unfortunately, in their quest for the most photogenic cheese, the creators appear to have thrown out any consideration of taste. The generic, rubbery Gouda texture exists purely as a delivery mechanism for an overpowering herb bombardment that makes this cheese inedible on its own. It could be acceptable with any accompaniment that dilutes the flavour, perhaps with a digestive biscuit. With none to hand though, I combined this with a mini-bottle of M&S Prosecco. Regrettably, no amount of intoxication will aid you here.

Phil rated this cheese 3 and Pez 2 out of 10.