Christmas Pudding Cheese (Croome Cheese)

This cheese is a novelty wax-wrapped Christmas-pudding-flavoured cheese. The substrate cheese is not clearly stated (an ominous sign) but relatively Cheddar-like; the cheese is infused with brandy, dried fruit, and mixed spices.

This cheese was also selected solely on the basis of its festive appeal. After our dubious experience with Villa Rosso from the first cheese stall in the Cambridge market, no lessons were learned; in a spirit of seasonal joy, goodwill, and forgiveness undaunted by the preceding combination of Indian fenugreek and red pesto, we approached the second cheese stall in the Cambridge market and asked for their most Christmassy cheese. We were pointed in the direction of this cheery, rotund wax truckle, and had to concede that it did look quite Christmassy. This is a time-limited festive cheese, available only in November and December.

We again ate this cheese in a pillar in front of Grate Saint Mary’s Church in central Cambridge, serenaded by a carol-playing harpist.

Phil: Would you eat a Christmas pudding milked from a cow? That is the question this cheese asks of our society. Your appreciation of it will depend entirely on your answer to that question.

This cheese has a singular purpose, to be a Christmas pudding in cheese form, and it executes decisively on that. The cheese is very moist, quite crumbly, and soft, but this is entirely secondary to the dense infusion of spices, ginger, honey and candied dried fruit. The overwhelming mouth experience is that of eating Christmas pudding with a curiously creamy texture.

I detest novelty cheeses of dubious provenance – if I am going to consume 150 % of my RDA of saturated fat in one sitting, it may as well at least be tasty – and I don’t really like Christmas pudding either, so I am not this cheese’s target audience. It is totally inconceivable I would eat this cheese outside the Christmas season. My partner – who, to be fair, was not briefed on what this cheese was all about prior to consuming it – spat her one mouthful into a cup with a look of horror in her eyes.

That said, I admire the relatively realistic facsimile of a Christmas pudding the manufacturers have succeeded in creating in dairy form. I can see this cheese’s place as a quirky alternative to more staid and serious conventional cheeses to bring some festive fun, and engender lively discussion, at your winter cheese platter. The cheese largely gets out of the way and lets the spices and fruit of the Christmas pudding do the talking, and the combined experience is not wholly unpleasant. When I returned home, I did continue to eat it in small, intrigued sessions. I paired this cheese with a 2019 Cotes du Rhone Villages red wine but this was a poor decision; a much lighter, sweeter white (or Pez’s prosecco) looks to be a much better choice. I can imagine this cheese doing well with any sweet accompaniment which embraces it cake-like nature, whether a sweet cracker, apple or grapes.

Pez: This cheese has a compelling sales pitch to both the bulls and bears of the Christmas pudding world. For the bulls there is a lot to appreciate here – this cheese is remarkably faithful to the typical Christmas pudding taste, albeit one served with a large portion of cream. Its inclusion of dried fruit could also arguably make it healthier than other cheeses on your plate.

As a bear, I consider Christmas pudding a tradition endured rather than loved, one where setting your food on fire arouses only mild enthusiasm. Rather than despair at the prospect of another Christmas pudding flavoured annoyance, consider this cheese as trading flammability for opportunity. It can be thought of as a pudding mitigation tactic, one that lets you justifiably downgrade the Christmas pudding from an entire dessert to just one small part of a communal cheese board that hopefully someone else will eat. Fingers crossed the manufacturer branches out next year with a brussels sprout edition.

All animal spirits will agree though that this is a small, expensive cheese. On a per person basis, real Christmas puddings are cheaper. At £4.50 it is trading heavily on its Christmas theme and the desperation of gift buyers.

Phil would rate this cheese 2 at other times of the year, but 4 in the Christmas season. Pez would give this cheese a personal score of 4, rising to 6 as a Christmas gift for a pudding lover. We awarded it a combined score of 5, as it is currently the season for such cheeses.